“But in my experience, if the difference between reality and your idea of “perfection” is too great, you may lose the will to be tidy, and just allow things to accumulate.”
(page 93) The Art of Discarding by Nagisa Tatsumi subtitled How to Get Rid of Clutter and Find Joy …Also known as the book that inspired The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up by Marie Kondo (Both books have sold millions of copies worldwide)
Of course you do, even if you are a minimalist Buddhist Shinto Japanese person.
Unless you’re a Japanese android.
There is a critical scene in the TV show Doctor Who where the camera is centred on a very young lady, looking glum, living on her own. Surely employed, (she has her own flat) in a blue collar job. She is on her couch, with her kitchen blocked from view behind her. A cabinet is to the left… To me the issue is not her “clutter” but her mental state: It’s not a matter of her needing a few more storage boxes. Here is what I see:
Untidy tacks of narrow boxes of board games and things, on her cabinet, and elsewhere, precarious and not at all squared away.
Clothes draped on her kitchen chair and couch, dropped and not folded at all.
A cabinet drawer pulled out, to the point of hanging down.
A cabinet door hanging open.
By the kitchen chair, on the floor a low colourful grouping of stuff, hard to know what it is.
I dimly see photos on the fridge, squared away, of course, and a bulletin board with an angled photo, and a few untidy scraps of paper. No art anywhere, none.
The coffee table in front of her is full, with a precarious stack or two.
My Freudian subconscious must be protecting me, because although the scene looks familiar, I can’t remember ever living like that. A friend’s place, perhaps, out of my past? Doubtful. It must have been me. What state would I have been in to leave a drawer slid out, and a cupboard door hanging open? I will say that, compared to others, even now, I have a very little need for order: I never put stuff at right angles, but still—those stacks look so precarious.
The woman’s mental state, to me, shows not a “low need for order” but a state of being “unstuck in time” taking no thought for the next minute. No thought, as she leaves open her cupboard door, that in five minutes she might want the door closed. Unhappy? Why? The clue is when she holds up a paper and the camera looks over her shoulder: The heading? “Christmas Day Itinerary.” It’s numbered, so obviously she is trying for a bit of order.
Numbered down the page are DVD movies to watch. Sci-fi ones. Well, call me a nerd, but I, for one, would be happy to watch those shows. Then I see that one of the numbers is “Dad comes over.” Did he? The last item, with lots of question marks, is “Forgive Dave?” I get it. Not only is she unstuck in time, but she’s probably out of community. And for some time has been without a boyfriend. That would explain her glum state. No boyfriend, alone on Christmas.
I can relate. Decades ago, around age 30, I had a chance to go off to China to teach English at a certain school. As it happened, I was too busy: happily learning the skills of being a junior manager, having to lead myself so I could better lead others. But still, the real reason I didn’t go off adventuring? I had already experienced living as a very young man, employed, on my own in a strange city, alone, not learning skills, not in school, not with future, stuck in an eternal present… and I had no wish to be alone, alone, all over again.
For clutter, and your life too, if the difference between your reality and your idea of life is too great… then you will “lose the will.” I can remember once, around Christmas, seeing my college counsellor, and denying that I had any sort of Christmas depression. She asked, “If you did have the money, then would you travel home for Christmas?” Yes. “Then you would naturally be feeling down.” “Oh.” Oh, that pesky subconscious!
Life goes on. These days I’m not glum, even when I feel boring, and, like Eeyore, I can sit in my gorse patch and wonder, “Why-fore?” I do have reasons for cheer. Last year a young man at work said I was the most interesting man he knows. Before Christmas an old serving officer in the armed forces said a man was claiming to be from my old platoon, which years ago was mentioned in dispatches. I feel a strange wonder: I’ve never been important enough for someone to claim to be part of my outfit before…
But in the end, here on my blog, I remain private. Sorry. Not unstuck in time, but on a timeline with chocks blocking off the earlier years. Maybe someday I should go to some retreat in Southern California, and get unstuck.
Have a good year!
Footnotes: I won’t blab which episode the scene is from. But if you’ve already seen it, and you don’t mind a Youtube clip that stops before you see Clara’s last Christmas (because some commenters weep at seeing a similar clip that goes longer) then here, showing that young lady, is a link to near-the-end scenes.
The silver lining for youth, however dreary, is their life is stretching onwards. Let’s remember, as The Doctor knows, “Every Christmas is last Christmas,” because it may be the last time certain folks are gathered. So enjoy it while it you may.